Random EX enounter - Delhi Airport

This isn't a love story... nor will it make you weep... it's actually nice ... in the sense. I mean is it just me or when you have a "good" conversation with an ex and leave with a smile on your face... you can say that must make you feel very good. Hardeep (Deepi) was a sane ex, I really liked her, at the time though I was 18 and she was 24. Somehow though we clicked and enjoyed each other's company. She used to make me butter chicken, I would go non veg just to have that chicken again! j/k

We broke up because it was that time for her to get married. This was our biggest fight in our relationship, she told me she didn't have the "guts" to fight for us. I told her I didn't agree with the marriage and she was ignoring who she really was. I call it a mutual break up because I understood where she was coming from, but at the same time, my heart got bruised. I just walked away without saying anything and never went back.

Years went by, I get a call from her out of the blue. It was like besides us not being together we were civil and had a good laugh or two. But she had a reason to call me. She told me she thought about our fight and the guy ended up being a real prick, she never felt complete. She knew she was cheating and ignoring herself and her needs. Deepi gave me some bad news that both her parents had passed on, it was after her father died, she knew she had to get out of the marriage and start being herself. She found love, at the office she worked for, a "gori" like me (her own words) they were getting married - in Punjab of all places! She came out to her father's brother and he offered his farm house outside of Amritsar, the ceremony would be private of course, I guess he's a big shot that could pull this off.

I didn't make it to the wedding, it wasn't because I had ill feelings or I was jealous, but I had some heavy issues at the time it just wasn't the right time for me to go to Punjab. After being in Punjab, I'm kicking myself right now cause it would of been interesting to see.

I was waiting for my plane to go to Amritsar at Indira Gandhi Airport, I see this white girl, who could pass as my cousin to say the very least. She caught my eye and I was just people watching - my eyes followed her... low and behold... she sat next to someone I knew...it couldn't be...I felt like I was having a "lack of sleep" moment. Or a "pinch me dammit" I'm dreaming moment. There was Deepi. Deepi and Petz, same airport, in India - the same time. The do I go up and say hi vs. do I ignore them started to kick in. First off I felt like an ass for missing their wedding but I couldn't pass it up and ignore them.

So I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked over. I was greeted with open arms from both of them. Her wife said she has heard so much about me and Deepi looked great. We took a walk around the airport to catch up, I apologized for missing her wedding, after I explained myself she understood. Then she was like, "guess what?" I was like "your pregnant?" I just did a random Petz chuckle, and she stood dead in her tracks. Turns out she was! She took my hand and I felt the baby flutter, it felt so cool. She told me she wished back then she had more courage to fight for us, I told her we both needed time to grow up as individuals, but I was happy, genuinely happy for her. She told me, my turn for happiness will come, she had no doubt I would make someone very happy because she remembers how I was and was convinced I probably hadn't change, except become even more romantic. I joked and said practice makes perfect. I treated her to come coffee and got her wife a pastry (my lame excuse I missed out on the wedding cake, so let me get her something sweet)

We said our goodbyes and that was that. I'm glad she has found happiness. Gives me a little inspiration.

He's very nice... BUT

As soon as I hear the "but" its like our inner self doubt... just WAITING to leap out. Or an excuse for us not to go after something because ... we just don't feel it. So I guess the "but" can be a lifesaver

It really does hit a nerve when you are with someone and bam you get that speech.. "you are really nice... you are really good... damn you gave me the biggest orgasm BUT..."

- I'm Married
- I'm in love with someone else
- I'm just not into you (great book title)
- I'm getting over someone I don't want you to be the rebound (even after the orgasm? - what the hell do you call that?!)
- It's not you... its me... really its me... (no its ME ... don't sugarcoat me - I don't want to end up being a diabetic with HEART BURN)


Or the BUT it can play in your favor ...

- I really like her ... but you are a better match for me
- Things were great between us... but being with you I know I can be content
- I used to like being single and care free... but I want to take you out
- I never believed in love... but I see it in your eyes... and its not so bad
- But you know what? I dig you (ok... that comes from the mouth of petz ... I know hardly anyone says "dig" anymore - I think I'm openly admitting of using that line)

Use the "But" wisely!

One in minute you are enjoy an olive...

... The next minute you find yourself choking. Let me tell you the feeling of not being able to breathe SUCKS. Luckily someone on the restaurant, knew what she was doing and pressed her fist on my chest... that sucker came out. I'm not trying to sound emo... far from it, but it made me wonder could that of been it...

My laptop was still on with my travel plans to India

And everything I took personally.... all seem so petty and I'm thinking why sweat it?

What sucks the most - I think some people think I'm totally joking with them and aren't taking my feelings seriously. But I have to remember, I've pulled some pranks before, the last one hurt a lot of people and I did wrote about this in proper detail on FB. But I'm being for reals - I'll make myself perfectly clear I would NEVER joke anything about death... that's too cruel and too many people I care about have had their own experiences of losing someone close (friend and relatives)

I'm putting the pit in a small baggy and keeping it as a reminder how we should at least attempt to live life to the fullest, never let a fight go on too long with those we love and be grateful.

There are times

"... The Heart my bruise... but never breaks...."

And in time... your own time... your own pace... the bruise heals. Don't have someone tell you to get over it. Ok maybe we all need a push from those who are close to us... but if we still need to grieve... we should grieve... if we haven't gotten over someone.... we shouldn't go search for the next best thing...timing is everything.... I was "pushed" to get over someone and fast - which lead to a year of being lonely because in every new person I was searching for an old love.

So take that "get over it" with a grain of salt. And you be your own judge when its time to get over something or someone

Tiffanys

I went to Tiffanys yesterday... I disguised myself in two different outfits. And the way I was treated... wow.. wow... wow...

In a not so dressy outfit... I felt so disrespected... I made it a point to take off any visible jewelery and tucked my hair back in my knit cap

my second outfit... I had my best pants... best shoes... nice new shirt... hair down and styled... I got first class service - even the same girl who treated me like crap.. in my nice outfit... treated me like royalty.


My only defense for me to break being judge is having people get to know me... but it makes me wonder and it makes me feel like I want to be selective of who i give my time to. Cause at the end of the day... some people are just not worth it.

Daily Quote 4/30/09

"Once you hit rock bottom, you can't get any lower, you can only go up"

This quote comes from me... Petz... yup... it came to me during the darkest period of my life ... which I'm sure many of you can relate to... a break up... a really bad break up... perhaps I saw it coming... because no matter how much we fought and than made up...I was really in love ... but just because one person is in love... the other might not follow... or in my case for awhile I believed outside influences had an impact - but at the end of the day...with all we had plan... both of us being adults... it didn't have to end the way it did...but it did...

In time... I would say a good year...I got over the relationship.

I had to hit rock bottom... I was never suicidal but I felt like my life was ending... that I would never love again... or be comfortable with someone the way I once was ...

It does get better... but in my case it had to get worse... it taught me some harsh lessons ... the intolerance in this world, the close mindedness and filled me with self doubt...

Last night... I burnt the pictures... the anniversary cards... a get well card... and a rose in a little baggy...I didn't feel sad... I felt relieved... at last I'm free.

Daily Quote 04/27/09

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the places and moments that take our breath away"

I read this quote in a book called "1000 places you must visit before you die" I plan to visit every single place... it's one of my favorite books to browse through in a bookstore...

I just thought I get a jump start on this week's quoting... have a good week everybody