Random EX enounter - Delhi Airport

This isn't a love story... nor will it make you weep... it's actually nice ... in the sense. I mean is it just me or when you have a "good" conversation with an ex and leave with a smile on your face... you can say that must make you feel very good. Hardeep (Deepi) was a sane ex, I really liked her, at the time though I was 18 and she was 24. Somehow though we clicked and enjoyed each other's company. She used to make me butter chicken, I would go non veg just to have that chicken again! j/k

We broke up because it was that time for her to get married. This was our biggest fight in our relationship, she told me she didn't have the "guts" to fight for us. I told her I didn't agree with the marriage and she was ignoring who she really was. I call it a mutual break up because I understood where she was coming from, but at the same time, my heart got bruised. I just walked away without saying anything and never went back.

Years went by, I get a call from her out of the blue. It was like besides us not being together we were civil and had a good laugh or two. But she had a reason to call me. She told me she thought about our fight and the guy ended up being a real prick, she never felt complete. She knew she was cheating and ignoring herself and her needs. Deepi gave me some bad news that both her parents had passed on, it was after her father died, she knew she had to get out of the marriage and start being herself. She found love, at the office she worked for, a "gori" like me (her own words) they were getting married - in Punjab of all places! She came out to her father's brother and he offered his farm house outside of Amritsar, the ceremony would be private of course, I guess he's a big shot that could pull this off.

I didn't make it to the wedding, it wasn't because I had ill feelings or I was jealous, but I had some heavy issues at the time it just wasn't the right time for me to go to Punjab. After being in Punjab, I'm kicking myself right now cause it would of been interesting to see.

I was waiting for my plane to go to Amritsar at Indira Gandhi Airport, I see this white girl, who could pass as my cousin to say the very least. She caught my eye and I was just people watching - my eyes followed her... low and behold... she sat next to someone I knew...it couldn't be...I felt like I was having a "lack of sleep" moment. Or a "pinch me dammit" I'm dreaming moment. There was Deepi. Deepi and Petz, same airport, in India - the same time. The do I go up and say hi vs. do I ignore them started to kick in. First off I felt like an ass for missing their wedding but I couldn't pass it up and ignore them.

So I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked over. I was greeted with open arms from both of them. Her wife said she has heard so much about me and Deepi looked great. We took a walk around the airport to catch up, I apologized for missing her wedding, after I explained myself she understood. Then she was like, "guess what?" I was like "your pregnant?" I just did a random Petz chuckle, and she stood dead in her tracks. Turns out she was! She took my hand and I felt the baby flutter, it felt so cool. She told me she wished back then she had more courage to fight for us, I told her we both needed time to grow up as individuals, but I was happy, genuinely happy for her. She told me, my turn for happiness will come, she had no doubt I would make someone very happy because she remembers how I was and was convinced I probably hadn't change, except become even more romantic. I joked and said practice makes perfect. I treated her to come coffee and got her wife a pastry (my lame excuse I missed out on the wedding cake, so let me get her something sweet)

We said our goodbyes and that was that. I'm glad she has found happiness. Gives me a little inspiration.

He's very nice... BUT

As soon as I hear the "but" its like our inner self doubt... just WAITING to leap out. Or an excuse for us not to go after something because ... we just don't feel it. So I guess the "but" can be a lifesaver

It really does hit a nerve when you are with someone and bam you get that speech.. "you are really nice... you are really good... damn you gave me the biggest orgasm BUT..."

- I'm Married
- I'm in love with someone else
- I'm just not into you (great book title)
- I'm getting over someone I don't want you to be the rebound (even after the orgasm? - what the hell do you call that?!)
- It's not you... its me... really its me... (no its ME ... don't sugarcoat me - I don't want to end up being a diabetic with HEART BURN)


Or the BUT it can play in your favor ...

- I really like her ... but you are a better match for me
- Things were great between us... but being with you I know I can be content
- I used to like being single and care free... but I want to take you out
- I never believed in love... but I see it in your eyes... and its not so bad
- But you know what? I dig you (ok... that comes from the mouth of petz ... I know hardly anyone says "dig" anymore - I think I'm openly admitting of using that line)

Use the "But" wisely!

One in minute you are enjoy an olive...

... The next minute you find yourself choking. Let me tell you the feeling of not being able to breathe SUCKS. Luckily someone on the restaurant, knew what she was doing and pressed her fist on my chest... that sucker came out. I'm not trying to sound emo... far from it, but it made me wonder could that of been it...

My laptop was still on with my travel plans to India

And everything I took personally.... all seem so petty and I'm thinking why sweat it?

What sucks the most - I think some people think I'm totally joking with them and aren't taking my feelings seriously. But I have to remember, I've pulled some pranks before, the last one hurt a lot of people and I did wrote about this in proper detail on FB. But I'm being for reals - I'll make myself perfectly clear I would NEVER joke anything about death... that's too cruel and too many people I care about have had their own experiences of losing someone close (friend and relatives)

I'm putting the pit in a small baggy and keeping it as a reminder how we should at least attempt to live life to the fullest, never let a fight go on too long with those we love and be grateful.

There are times

"... The Heart my bruise... but never breaks...."

And in time... your own time... your own pace... the bruise heals. Don't have someone tell you to get over it. Ok maybe we all need a push from those who are close to us... but if we still need to grieve... we should grieve... if we haven't gotten over someone.... we shouldn't go search for the next best thing...timing is everything.... I was "pushed" to get over someone and fast - which lead to a year of being lonely because in every new person I was searching for an old love.

So take that "get over it" with a grain of salt. And you be your own judge when its time to get over something or someone

Tiffanys

I went to Tiffanys yesterday... I disguised myself in two different outfits. And the way I was treated... wow.. wow... wow...

In a not so dressy outfit... I felt so disrespected... I made it a point to take off any visible jewelery and tucked my hair back in my knit cap

my second outfit... I had my best pants... best shoes... nice new shirt... hair down and styled... I got first class service - even the same girl who treated me like crap.. in my nice outfit... treated me like royalty.


My only defense for me to break being judge is having people get to know me... but it makes me wonder and it makes me feel like I want to be selective of who i give my time to. Cause at the end of the day... some people are just not worth it.

Daily Quote 4/30/09

"Once you hit rock bottom, you can't get any lower, you can only go up"

This quote comes from me... Petz... yup... it came to me during the darkest period of my life ... which I'm sure many of you can relate to... a break up... a really bad break up... perhaps I saw it coming... because no matter how much we fought and than made up...I was really in love ... but just because one person is in love... the other might not follow... or in my case for awhile I believed outside influences had an impact - but at the end of the day...with all we had plan... both of us being adults... it didn't have to end the way it did...but it did...

In time... I would say a good year...I got over the relationship.

I had to hit rock bottom... I was never suicidal but I felt like my life was ending... that I would never love again... or be comfortable with someone the way I once was ...

It does get better... but in my case it had to get worse... it taught me some harsh lessons ... the intolerance in this world, the close mindedness and filled me with self doubt...

Last night... I burnt the pictures... the anniversary cards... a get well card... and a rose in a little baggy...I didn't feel sad... I felt relieved... at last I'm free.

Daily Quote 04/27/09

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the places and moments that take our breath away"

I read this quote in a book called "1000 places you must visit before you die" I plan to visit every single place... it's one of my favorite books to browse through in a bookstore...

I just thought I get a jump start on this week's quoting... have a good week everybody

daily quote 042409

"...I've grown accustom to her looks...accustom to her voice... Accustom to her face..."
(From my fair lady)

I love audrey hepburn...I thought she was a brillant old school actress

In this movie she plays a flower girl from the low class slums in london..and regal old man who runs this finishing school...and they form this interesting friendship... Of course they are always at each others throats...and she feels like she been used just to up his social status

But one can't help notice the chemistry..I believe rex harrisons character was gay..and professor higgins had no interest in eliza...but you can tell there was a deep affection...

Its funny how many connections we come across in our lives...

The quote I have ... Is from the last song in the movie...where he realizes she may never come back...so he's bickering how much she annoys him and yet he can't live without her... Complex emotions

Daily Quote - 4/19/09

"...women’s lives do not count as much as they should. As long as woman continue to be at a disadvantage in their societies, so will maternal and newborn health. But if we can manage to supply women with the tools to take control of their own lives, we will be able to create an atmosphere which gives more support to women and also to children..."
(Queen Rania - Jordan)

I really admire Rania for all her humanitarian work she does for the middle east and the world at whole... I find her to be such an inspiration for all of us to do a little good in the community... no matter how big or small... whether its an hour of volunteer work or a months worth... I learned at an early age...every little bit makes a difference...

I won't say where... but in the UK... to get away from my professional life... I retrieve to this one place to dedicate a couple of hours of volunteer work every week ... at this Sacred place... I'm a nobody - but respected as a somebody... I don't say much and perhaps that draws a fine line of curiosity among the elders.... its just my time to really focus on the simple things in life... I admit... I feel myself homesick and longing to kick it with friends... but after I leave the Sacred spot... I feel like whatever I did in those couple of hours made a difference somehow

Daily Quote - 4/18/09

"...Equation of A Good Life = Add good people, subtract negative influences, multiply great things and dividing among those you love..."

It's a pretty straight forward quote to live by...

Daily Quote - 4/15/09

"...The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win fame and fortune..."
(Amelia Earhart)


This applies to both men and women I feel... we all need to look into ourselves and discover our hidden potential and what are we "good" at... finding what we are good at and transforming it into a job... I can safely say... to find something you love doing... is probably the most gratifying feeling in the world.

I love asking my close friends... what are their goals... what are their dreams... just tell me... no holding back... perhaps this is why people thing I'm "weird" or "eccentric" but i do see potential in everything and I do believe in what people can do if they put their mind to it... i got ask these same questions a couple of years ago... and it stuck with me... it opens up conversations and you find unlimited potential of the things you can do

Myself... I'm constantly seeing myself transitioning into what I want to do with my life... or attempting to try something new to grow my seed... it saddens me when someone I care about seems like they are being "forced" into their profession because of the parental or guardian units

I don't mean to sound morbid - I've applied this to myself cause my mother, bless her, as supportive as she can be of me... she had a hard time understanding what I want in life... what good would a film degree do... "ok... petz... now you got your BA ... go for your masters..." I literally wanted to throw up... don't get me wrong... I love learning... I love reading... I have a very curious mind ... but school wise... I hate being restricted or being told... I gotta go to this class... and that class... to get piece of paper with my name... and a MASTERS seal...

Ok but going back to parents and guardians... we must realize as adults... we only got our parents for a certain amount of years... we can please and compromised... but we shouldn't sell out our dreams... cause once they are gone... what's next? you are stuck in a profession you didn't want to be in and you're miserable... or you learn to adapt but you never feel full.

Daily Quote - 4/14/09

"... you walk around like you don't know me - you got a new friend - well I got homies - but in the end it's still so lonely..."
(kanye west - heartless)

I woke up to this song this morning... I have to say this is my favorite lyric to heartless ... I can't really analyze on it... I think the new "friend" Kanye's ex has ... is just a filler... you know she's walking around... ignoring kanye... and then she shows up with this guy... just out of the blue... and she feels like she has something to "prove" so she lavishes him with the attention she used to give kanye...but its not for reals... it may look real and genuine ... but it's only to get kanye's attention and hurt him

a couple of months down the line... this "filler" game gets old... the girl suddenly wants kanye back... don't you hate these mind games - if you really wanted him back... just be upfront... I know its easier said than done... some of us have problems with being up front because of rejection or maybe there is never a right time to approach it... she would probably feel really ridiculous if he was surrounded by all his friends... and she tells him she wants him back... and you know the friends... will probably make some lame jokes... and just put gas into the fire

whether we are the ones playing them or we are getting played in the end... that sign "game over" flashes and someone gets hurt

I'll stick with nintendo...

Daily Quote - 4/11/09

"...There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not..."
(Robert F. Kennedy)

I think "why" is like one of my favorite words... and I never use it to be annoying...but it's more of my curious side just ready to come out.

A part of my daily routine... accomplish one goal a day... and learn something new...

The learning something new... always starts with "why..." i get my answer... I soak it in my sponge like brain... and it stays.

First Dates

A first date... its new... its refreshing... most importantly it's suppose to be FUN!

Remember though... don't spill your guts all on one date... leave a little mystery. It makes things appealing and if there is a second date... go on and continue. If you are a serious person, loosen up a bit and just go with the flow of things

This actually applies to life in general - never have expectations when you go into something (new years especially - the most overrated holiday - minus the fact if its your birthday!) If you have a certain set of expectations going into something like a first date... about 80% of the time you are going to let yourself down... it could be something minor like leaving toast crumbs in the butter (if you have a breakfast date)

It's good to go in with an open mind - however look out for warning signs - they way your date talks to others (waiters, waitresses, movie ushers) a friendly demeanor is a shape of a sphere - not a half ass cookie. The way your date talks to you, the eye contact, is there any signs of put downs?

Feeling overwhelmed? Don't be... your perception will kick in...

Our friends even though they want the best for us... if there's a reason why you shouldn't be dating... do yourself a favor and don't do it. Save yourself your time but more importantly don't waste the time of others. Be selective of your time - it's one of those things - you just can't get back.

Or...

- If you are hung up on an old crush
- If you are freshly out of a relationship and you feel heartache - if you don't then by all means go out and mingle

My take is... if I'm not excited ... if I'm calling up a best friend and belly aching ... chances are I'm not ready to date... so keep that in mind. I don't like having my time wasted if I go on a date and my date isn't "all there" again its a TIME WASTER.

If the question of relationships comes up - keep it light and simple, there is no need to go into full blown details (most of the time those stories can be downers) there's plenty of time if you two hit it off to talk about relationships

Hobbies are always a safe bet - especially if you two have opposite hobbies - take this as a sign where you can LEARN something - if the date doesn't work out... at least you learned something new.

Movies and Music - another safe bet... good time filler

An embarrassing story - this normally works in my favor simply because it shows I can laugh at myself...but if it's something gross (like the time I got my pooped on by a seagull on 6th grade picture day) save that when your away from food... it may seem harmless but you never know someone's stomach sensitivity.

Religion and Politics - One can dabble but don't go too deep... sure this can be a part of someone... but maybe it's something you want to hold back on ... I call it a hit or miss topic...leave at one question at most...but if you can do without it on the first date ... then just let it be

Family - covering the basics (number of siblings, parents, places you've lived or moved to with your family)

Travel - Travel stories are always fun ... or places you would like to go... maybe they been there and could offer you some advice... For example... I want to go to Iran but I realize I need to apply for a visa (that can take up to three months)

School - The best stories usually comes from interesting classes you took... be unique... I once had a date that took a voice-over class... so that leads to my next question "what kind of voices can you do?"

Sports - Pending whether you like to play them or watch them - this could set up your second date to go bowl, shoot some hoops or watch a game... if you don't like sports... forget the topic

Happy Dating :)

Quotation 4-10-08

Sometimes those "taglines" we have on our facebooks and twitters... I find it sometimes very self-absorbing... I'll be the first to admit... my self absorb side comes up when I belly ache over something I end up chuckling at the next day... but I like to put up quotes...I turn to quotes for inspiration

Every day here on the pod... I will leave you all with a quote...

"...Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next..."
(Gilda Radner)

Gilda Radner was one of my favorite SNL (saturday night live) actresses...I remember SNL actually being shown on the early days of Nick at Nite. I loved her Roseanne Roseannadanna character... Roseanne was this wacky news anchor that just went on these crazy rants... but sadly Gilda was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and died in her early 40s...I think this quote should remind us we only have here and now... and whatever we have... we just have to make the best of it or try... while we can't see what tomorrow may bring... let's just live it up to our best potential.

The Peta Pod's grand opening!

WELCOME TO THE PETA POD! This is a tribute from her friends on her lovely birthday (which is actually april 1st).

Here, we can come together and ask her all sorts of questions and be very happy when she will answer them at the click of her fingers!

PETA ROCKS!